anger (mh awareness week 5/7)

 

This week is The Mental Health Foundation’s “Mental Health Awareness Week” 2019 (13-19th May). In honour of this, I will be posting a blog post each day this week with the theme of mental health. This one is about anger, signs and how to control it.

Anger is such a strong emotion, and because it’s an emotion it is normal to experience it. 

It can even have a positive effect by motivating you to make a change to avoid the distress you are currently feeling. It can also work as a way of identifying things that are toxic and we should remove if they are making us angry on a regular basis. 

However, anger can become excessive and can lead to issues, which occur in many different ways. 

Anger issues are something that I feel are still very much stigmatised. People are labelled “psychopaths” if they display an anger motivated outburst. But it is important to be aware that anger is natural and if someone is displaying it at an aggressive level then perhaps they need some help.

Alcohol impacts your mental health in general, but it can lead to increased anger and violence due to lower inhibitions, meaning if you already have issues with anger management and then consume alcohol it could be a recipe for disaster because who knows what may happen.

One of the main issues that come with anger is that it can potentially have an extreme impact on others’, on a level that no other emotion does. As much as you feeling and expressing sadness can affect those close to you, anger is one which may result in very dangerous situations for those close to you or even acquaintances.

When you have issues controlling your anger, it may be that you build it all up and then explode over something which could be insignificant in hindsight, but because it’s all been building up it appears as something massive in your head. This can lead to these previously mentioned “anger motivated outbursts” which appear extreme to anyone who isn’t experiencing what is inside of your head.

Typically anger is associated with outward aggression and violence, which is undeniably damaging for the individual and those around them. It involves behaviours such as slamming doors, shouting, swearing, threatening others or acting physically or verbally abusive to them.

Anger can also lead to inward aggression, which is damaging to the individual. It can lead to behaviours such as denying yourself things that make you happy, food, water, isolating yourself, self-harming or telling yourself you hate yourself.

A lot of people don’t realise that self-harm and even suicide often comes from a place of anger, as it is usually associated with feelings of depression and despair. It can be you’re angry at the world or yourself so you engage in these dangerous behaviours, it also acts as a way of regaining control.

It’s important to try not to build things up or keep them locked in, but rather getting the anger out in small, controlled doses. Such as using a punchbag, or exercising which releases the same chemicals in the brain as self-harm does.

Being aware of your anger as well as your triggers (and avoiding them) is essential to control it. You have to understand that anger is healthy, but excessively it can be harmful to you and others. If you can recognise when something is making you extremely angry and are able to remove yourself from the situation then that is the best thing to do.

Identifying the signs that you are about to have an outburst is essential. These will vary from person to person and may include fast heartbeat and breathing, becoming tense or clenching your firsts. You have to work out your signs yourself so that you can calm down before an outburst, rather than after.

My favourite coping mechanism is to count 1, 2, 3 over and over again until I’ve calmed down. This gives you time to think and evaluate if you really need to act in this way or if there is an alternative. You can also count to ten or any number as many times as you like.

Talking to someone who is impartial to the situation is good as you can gauge whether you’re being rational by their reactions and advice, as well as giving you a chance to identify this yourself and working out why you feel so angry.