Counselling or therapy can be a daunting experience. You’re expected to open up about all sorts of things to someone who is essentially a stranger, so feeling a bit anxious about it is totally understandable. It can be especially daunting when you’ve been on a waiting list for a long time after your referral, as waiting times can bring a lot of anxiety with them.
You may feel like you have some obligation to fill to your counsellor. However, counsellors will not have expectations of you. Counselling sessions are guided by the patient, and it’s important to remember that this means it is up to you when it ends or decreases in frequency. A counsellor won’t push you to talk about something that makes you feel uncomfortable, you only have to talk about things that YOU want to talk about. And just as you can do in a regular situation, you can say you’re uncomfortable with the topic and move on, just because they are your counsellor that does not mean you are obligated to talk.
However, it is important to remember that your counsellor is unlikely to bring up things that may make you feel upset or experience negative emotions, they are working in your best interest even if you may doubt that at times.
Counselling can be daunting. At the start, you are likely to feel anxious about going since this person is essentially a stranger. However you will begin to feel more comfortable over time, and eventually, you have a bond with this person that you used to see as a stranger.
Even when you are comfortable, it is normal to feel stressed or anxious before some sessions. Whether that be just because of the place you’re in mentally at the time, or because something has happened that you’re not sure other you’re ready to talk about, or perhaps you have decided to open up about something and you’re anxious about doing so. It is totally normal to feel this way, and perhaps talking to your counsellor about it is it is happening regularly could be helpful in combating it.
If your counsellor is asking questions, it is not to challenge you or intimidate you, it is usually just that they want a deeper understanding of what is going on so that they can advise you better.
I also want to clear up some common myths that people do actually believe.
- Counsellors cannot read minds. I study psychology and on our first day, we were told “people will ask you any time you mention studying psychology if you can read their mind” We can’t.
- You don’t lie on a sofa staring at the ceiling. Usually, you sit in a regular chair, at my counsellors we each have a sofa.
- In my personal experience, they don’t take notes on everything you’re saying
It’s important to realise that therapy is not a quick fix. It takes a lot of time and effort, you have to be engaged in sessions and follow what your therapist is saying in order for it to work effectively.
Additionally, therapy can work in combination with medication, many see medication as a better option. However, studies have proven that a combination is usually the most effective. It also depends on the individual, for example, Cognitive Behaviour Therapy can be beneficial for someone struggling with anxiety in a way that medication could not do.
It is important to try with your counsellor, deciding after one session that it’s not for you is not the best course of action. Try a bit longer and if you’re uncomfortable, air this our with your counsellor if you feel comfortable or try to find a different one, because counsellors have different ways of treatment and they will be better suited to some patients than others, however, they will always try to accommodate you in the best way that they can.
I am doing a marathon in a month (July) to raise funds for Mental Health Aberdeen, of which one of their projects ACIS YOUTH, have provided me with free, professional counselling for almost three years now. This charity do amazing work and any additional funds can help them to continue offering this service. The “my marathon in a month” page on my site has more information but this is the link to the JustGiving page if you have a few pounds to spare, thank you kindly.
https://www.justgiving.com/fundraising/caitlin-tawse-mha-acis
instagram @c_tawse / @caitlinswanderland 